I have been unemployed since I came back to my country from studying abroad. By choice, that is. I am not ready to work just yet. My family has been supportive if you’re wondering about that. I have decided to pursue a Masters Degree in Psychology abroad, again, and I will be travelling soon. I am so excited to finally study something that I am passionate about. In the meantime, I am bored to death. All I do is sleep and eat.

When the night comes, I love being by myself. I usually stay up on Netflix and watch series/movies. But what I love even more is taking a sleeping pill before I sit on my bed to watch shows. The pill starts to kick in after an hour of consuming. I tell no one of this because I am afraid. The thing is that I am scared that I will not go to sleep without this pill. I am afraid that I am depending on it to put me to sleep. I have struggled with insomnia before, which is how I got introduced to sleeping pills. I am taking them everyday for the past few months. I used to take them before but I stopped due to travelling and such. And let me just say that this pill is making me fat and drowsy!

Seroquel gets you high. Of course, smoking marijuana is different and I cannot even compare those two to each other, but it makes you hungry, sleepy, and relaxed. I usually get the munchies before bed when I take it. I know that this is bad and I need to stop taking those pills, and I will. I’m just not in a rush.

Since I am newly engaged, I will be staying with my fiancé when we travel to study together. When I was living abroad, I loved the loneliness at times. I always needed my alone time. He was there with me before but we weren’t living together. We were just living in the same building and of course spend the day together. But not at night. There are times where I ask to be left alone even during the day, and he understands. But I have no idea how I will be having my alone time with us living together. I am worried.


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